Buddy and I were making our way home from our walk tonight. We have a really great place to walk that is a nature preserve and Buddy gets to be off leash while we're there. But once we hit the street again, it's on the leash he goes for the three block walk home. About a block from home we saw a cat crossing the street up ahead. Buddy starting pulling on the leash and getting really excited. I jerked him back and gave him a couple of commands. We got home and he still seemed a little frisky, but no more so than usual. It was garbage day today so I needed to bring the can up from the street. I headed through the gate onto the back patio where we store the can. I thought, I'll just let Buddy off his leash now, walk around to the front of the house by myself, and come back for him via the back door. Apparently Buddy had other plans.
He went tearing out of the gate and was gone. I yelled after him and immediately thought that he probably just raced to the front door. He always gets fed when we get home, so he was probably just excited to get in the house. I ran to the front door, but he wasn't there. I headed towards the street only to see him doing his little roe deer jumps around our neighbor's yard. I realized quickly that he was probably going to head for the general area where he saw the cat cross the street. I started running towards the main road, which is really busy that time of day (despite a 25 mph speed limit, the average driver goes about 45 mph down our street). Sure enough, there he was bouncing around and running in the busy street. I yelled after him again and he started running towards me. He didn't stop, however, he ran right past me and towards the house. Rob had heard the commotion and had come outside. He was able to grab Buddy before he bolted for the neighbor's yard again.
In the few steps it took me to get back to the front step, I was ready to strangle the life out of that little dog. I didn't, of course, and logically I know striking a dog (or a person for that matter) would do no good. But I was red hot with anger. I realized not long after this moment of rage, if I could feel this pissed at my dog for disobeying me, how would I feel towards an unruly child? If I had children, I'd probably be on the evening news in no time, "Mother goes crazy, throws child from roof" or something awful like that. It's a wonder any of us survive childhood. Mother's Day & Father's Day just isn't enough to show our appreciation for these people who put up with our sassy-pants selves. Thanks Mom & Dad, you are braver souls than I.
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I am not a patient person. When I've told people who ask why I'm not having children that this is a Top 3 reason I always hear, "Oh, but when they're your children, it's different." Really? So I should take a chance that my impatience might go away and I'll magically become an entirely different person if I have a child? I think it's pretty obvious that this is not the case for a LOT of people out there - that having a child didn't magically erase their bad habits, their insufficiencies, their bad tempers. And we end up with damaged people as a result. So yeah, I'm with you. My impatience is the reason I thought it best to not be a teacher as well.
ReplyDeleteWe all have our limitations and I think it's best to pay attention to them.